Locum Tenens

Locum tenens...pretty much, a place holder.  A place holder.  Wow.

A few months back, I had the opportunity to work a few days at a low-income, high-volume clinic.  As a locum tenens.  Place holder.

I had to laugh.  You see, years ago, when my oldest was kindergarten, he was working away on his family unit in school.  When his teacher asked the normal questions about family -- who, what, where, when, why -- my little guy had a lot to say.  She asked about who was in our family, where we lived, what we did for our work.  My little one's answer?  His dad, well, he worked at a store.  His mom (me) -- well, I waited.  And no, not in a restaurant...I was not a waitress.

I waited.  I waited for him to get up in the morning, so I could make him breakfast.  Then I waited to take him to school.  After that I waited for him to get home from school, so we could do homework.  Then I waited some more until we had dinner.  To top it all off, I waited a bit longer until it was bedtime, when I, again, waited for him to wake up, so we could start all over again.

I think if he had known Latin, he would have said, 'My mom, she's a locum tenens -- she holds my space until I occupy it again.'

For years, I was offended.  Now I see his wisdom.  Yes, I do.  I wait.  And I hold a place.  This is my life's work.

People who know me have heard this speech before.  Sorry.

Years ago, I was given a copy of a book called Women's Reality by Anne Wilson Schaef.  I really can't tell you all the things it was about in detail, but I can tell you after I read it, my perspective shifted.  It's almost a without-the-right-words-to-explain type of shifting -- like some forms of art where you mustn't focus right on the piece, but rather lose your focus on the piece in order to understand it.

Let me try to elaborate.

The go-away message for me was that as a woman in America, it was no longer sufficient, nor even desired, to try to succeed in the male way of doing things.  It wasn't about breaking the glass ceiling; it was about REDEFINING the glass ceiling.  It wasn't about earning as many dollars as a man, but questioning the value we place on earning dollars.   It was about looking at the inherent feminine strengths and labeling them as valuable, worthy, socially enhancing traits.

My life's work embodies the exact message of Women's Reality.  As an midwife, I create a space for women to experience being women.  I recognize their unique strengths and encourage them to showcase their inherent assets.  I listen, I share, I observe, I demonstrate.  I witness couples turn to families, women turn to mothers, personhood come into existence.  I've been privileged to work with birth and make it woman-centered, woman-driven, empowering.  I'm a part of the redefinition and reclamation of this sacred act.

And in my role as midwife, I spend a lot of time waiting and I spend some time being a place holder.  I have to fine-tune the art of patience.  I have to be keenly aware of a woman's readiness to step into and bloom in this new role as mother.  It takes time.  So I wait.