Highs and Lows

We do "Highs and Lows" each night at dinner. When we're together. And lucky enough to eat together. 


It's not an idea I originated. I admit I stole it from the elementary school teacher years ago. But at that time, I was having our last baby, and life was being lived at light speed, and it provided a way for me to check in with my kids, get the basic facts in an easy-to-understand and efficient format.  We merely go around the table and share.  What was the best thing that happened today? What wasn't so great? Simple. 


With four kids? Profound. 


I've learned over the years that the lesson of the highs and lows isn't necessarily the checking in on their day-to-day lives. That's important and heard and respected. But what the lesson has been -- for me at least -- is the way their perception has seemed to shift over time. Or perhaps mine has. 


More often than not, our collective dinner time makes it on the list of at least one boy. 


"What was the best part of the day?" 


"This is right here, right now." 


I'm not sure, before kids, if I understood the value of being in the minute. They embody this and remind me of this daily. 


They've gone from one high to many...long lists, involved lists. Time with friends, treats, staying in their pajamas all day, hiking, biking, talking, time spent together. 


More remarkable still is that many times they have no reportable lows. They can no longer, on many days, call forth those things that bothered them so much, were sad or depressing, were worth remembering until the end of the day. It's as if their focus has shifted internally to recognizing and remembering the good things of their days and their time here on the planet. It's as if they've re-centered their focus on the worthwhile, and become resilient against the grind of this life. 


I can only hope I learn from them.