Hollowware?

Today is, technically, my 16th wedding anniversary. I am, unfortunately, in the middle of a protracted and often icky divorce. Honestly, today passed without sadness or even much thought or reminiscing.  What's to say? It happened. It's over. Move on.


I did get one sincere wish for a Happy 16th from someone who, I think, was serious, even though she knows my situation. And after that, I finally said something to a close friend about the reality of today, the date anyway.


My friend's response? What's the proper 16th wedding anniversary present? Who the freak knows that? So, of course, I look it up. Silver. And hollowware. Whatever that is.


So, of course, I look it up. Anything that's not flatware (duh) and suitable to go on the table, such as creamer, sugar bowl, butter dish, etc. A vessel. Empty. A container for other goods.


Makes. Perfect. Sense.


My non-sadness at the day is the years' long realization that the value of this union is not in its content, but in its structure. The value of this marriage, this union, this undone relationship is the empty. That empty brought forth children, a grown woman, a suitable life. That empty brought out personhood, triumph, small, wordless joys.


As the Tao states, being is borne out of non-being. This is the blessing of this day, this history, this undoneness, this limitlessness that is mine. I'm forever thankful. In ways I'm only beginning to understand.